On grief, growth, and letting go of a child

Two years ago, my older child left for university. I thought I was ready. I had the pride part down. What caught me off guard was the grief of watching a chapter of my life close while I was still, technically, living inside the next one. Nobody had told me that loving a transition and grieving it could happen in the same breath, or that a stage of parenthood could end even while I still had a child at home.

This September, I am doing it again. My daughter Mila, my youngest, is leaving for university in another city, and this time the ground under me feels different. This is what I have learned about grieving a stage of life you also wanted, and what I wish someone had told me the first time.

You've tried pushing it down. You've tried thinking your way through it. Neither worked, because that's not how the brain processes emotion. RAIN is a four-step practice grounded in neuroscience that takes about sixty seconds and actually works.

Pet loss can hit harder than we expect and there are real reasons for that. This post is part personal reflection, part exploration of what happens in the body when we lose an animal who was woven into our nervous system without us even realizing it.

24 years in corporate.
A breakdown in May.
Six months of nervous system safety.
And finally… I chose myself.

Letting go of achievement-as-identity has been hard, but I’ve never felt more in flow.

If you’re shedding an old version of you too, I’m here. 🤍

At TrueSpace Psychotherapy, I believe that healing happens when the body and mind are understood together — not separately. One powerful way to deepen that understanding is through Polyvagal Nervous System Mapping, a perspective rooted in how your nervous system senses safety, danger, connection, and calm. This work can help you explore what it feels like in your body when you’re relaxed, stressed, overwhelmed, or shut down — and learn how to support yourself toward deeper regulation and wellbeing.